A Woman’s Work


Some days I wake up and my head is fizzing with who I am meant to be that day. Of course the first and most important role is that of MUuuuuuuuuuummmmmmmy. I don’t tend to be awake before the small people that require that job from me are and I clock off late so this one is all consuming. And these guys are needy, with the most sub-roles that stem from the main position, and they pay the least but, well the way they pay makes up for that because their ‘I love you’s’ and snotty kisses go a lot further than money somehow. Unfortunately though I still have to earn money so I have to expertly juggle like most modern day women do.

Those other jobs? There are many. Housekeeper, dogsbody, accountant, cleaner, businesswoman, writer, car maintenance woman, taxi service, chief bin taker-outerer, secretary, damage-limitation consultant, peace-negotiator, entertainment manager, The Fun Police, educator, school liaison officer, HMRC tax expert, admin assistant who doubles as the phone hanger-on-er-er, decision maker, content editor, nutritionist, cook, washerwoman, fashion writer, retail journalist, landlady, B&B host, blogger…

The one thing I am not is a wife or indeed a wife and mother. That’s what I signed up for. This was meant to be a team game with two people bringing their core strengths together to make and form two perfect people.  Instead my shot at parenthood has been a very individual sport. I have support from the wings, amazing support, but the star player is on her own for much of it because those little people, well the only other person they would have do all those jobs in their lives, he has gone. My mum tries, my family try, Cameron does a great job but ultimately the buck stops with me and sometimes I wake up wanting to go back to sleep again because it is all too much. But unless I get a Calvin & Hobbs Duplicator machine then it’s onwards and onwards for me.

8 Replies to “A Woman’s Work”

  1. I hear you girlfriend. I feel so sad only having the grandparents to share the happy times and cute photos with….and even sadder to have no one to bounce the troubles off…. And knowing that will never change. Missing my Mr c every second. Love and hugs x

  2. I feel exactly the same. I didn’t want to be a single mother. I wanted the “family unit” mum, dad and kids.. Unfortunately that perfect little family we created was taken from me in January this year. I am left with 2 very lost kids and finding each day a struggle without my husband here. Feel so lost and lonely without him.

  3. It is especially hard for me not having anyone on the “outside” to talk about those most precious moments. It is just me and my two sons and my husband passed away 14 months ago. The children still have the same questions and feelings as I do. We miss him everyday and it hurts everyday but just like you we all must go on………………………………regardless of how painful and lost we may feel. I have not found the road map yet so I will manuever on because my children are following.

  4. Yes, this sounds familiar. I used to pride myself on being capable and independent – well, yes that’s all great but I sometimes I get angry that I HAVE to be those things now. And worry I’m not enough.
    Thanks for sharing x

  5. The politics you have to deal with when loosing your partner,,, best friend, ,, lover ,,, sole mate ,,, When its just you and two beautiful, , beautiful young children .On your own ,, alone….
    You do it ,,, and do it and make it work , climbing , angry, shouting, not recognising your old self anymore .Everyone thinks they know better and wants to help ,,, and do .But not for long and will fall away bit by bit .But please dont blame family or friends as this will happen
    Take what ever help you can as long as you can now…..I am learning every day how to live and winning this awful fight …Bit by bit I am feeling like a real person again, but slowly

    I am just a bloke,,,, a guy ,,, a mam ,, a widower

    Hate the word …Widower, ,,,, sorry

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