Happy Father’s Day

For the last two Junes I have wanted to scream very loudly, ‘hello world, not everyone has a bloody daddy anymore’, at every Father’s Day display I saw in shops. I wanted to shout at the tv ads, ‘don’t forget him this Father’s Day…ha fat chance’. More extreme though I wanted to go mad on Facebook with nasty ‘poor me’ comments on everyone’s lovely posts about days spent doing special things and pics of daddies and daughters and even daddies and sons. I was being a bereaved cow. I couldn’t really see beyond my own loss. I wanted the world to feel the same miserable way I was – a widow weeping over my babies’ efforts of Father’s Day cards made at nursery which were never going to go the real recipient but were made for me or grandad instead.
Now it’s Father’s Day Take Three without col and it’s looking good. Ever since he died his friends and I spoke about doing a wee tennis tournament in his honour. All of us gathering, kids, adults, picnic blankets, wine and shared stories, to the backdrop of some rubbish and some good tennis. My friend whose husband died a year ago and who was a good friend of cols has done all the organising for this day that will also remember her husband. And you know what, when we discussed dates and she sent out the ‘maybe’ calendar options to everyone, I was completely oblivious to the decided date of June 15 being Father’s Day. Poignant. So those ‘lads’ who were col’s best friends and who said they would step in to be different roles of father in the girls’ lives will get the rare opportunity too see them and to start that relationship with them. And we will all get to celebrate two men who weren’t fathers in this world for long enough. So the shop displays are safe for now and none of my good friends will be getting horrid Facebook comments all over their pages this year but I know there will be others out there doing this year’s Father’s Day as a widow or widower for the first time, feeling how I felt, so spare them a thought. I will. Cheers to them.

2 Replies to “Happy Father’s Day”

  1. This will be my children’s first father’s day without their dad. It is very sad to watch the Father’s Day commercials and see the displays at the stores and watch their reaction. I love your idea of doing something in honor of your loved one. Thanks for sharing!

  2. This will be our 4 Father’s Day without daddy!! My little girls hearts will be broke,, poor pets!!! But for each one that passes I’m stronger to deal with them!!!

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