You Can Shed Tears…but

I took a cab to Waverley Station in Edinburgh early this morning. In the darkness of the backseat I did my now obligatory confession of widowness to the taxi driver. Every time and I don’t know why but perhaps I find the back of a cab like a widow confessional. Anyways, my taxi driver/widow priest took it in his stride and said he admired me for keeping going etc etc.

Now sitting on the train to London to go and visit my old friends from a previous life it feels quite poignant that in two weeks it will be two years since I was forced to forge forward, no matter what, without him. So col as I read this poem on Facebook i thought yay me and all like me who have to keep going to honour the love they have for those they’ve lost.

He is Gone
You can shed tears that he is gone,
Or you can smile because he lived,
You can close your eyes and pray that he will come back,
Or you can open your eyes and see all that he has left.

Your heart can be empty because you can’t see him
Or you can be full of the love that you shared,
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,
Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.

You can remember him and only that he is gone
Or you can cherish his memory and let it live on,
You can cry and close your mind be empty and turn your
back,
Or you can do what he would want: smile, open your eyes,
love and go on.
David Harkins

16 thoughts on “You Can Shed Tears…but

  1. My husbands sister read this poem at his funeral. Beautiful.
    It’s coming up to our two year anniversary also (3/3/12). Stay strong & keep writing. You are amazing. As we all are. Lots of love x

  2. I have been following your blog for a while….

    I read this poem out at my husband’s wake just 2,5 months ago…I am looking forward to actually feeling the second part of each sentence in it.

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts and journey…

  3. I am coming up for two years on Tuesday. I read this poem perhaps a year ago and it left me cold. I have just reread it here and I agree with you, and Karen above. It is truly uplifting. Thanks for reminding me of it. Love and strength. X

  4. I first heard this poem shortly after my beloved husband died and I was very moved by it and put it on the inside cover of the Order of Service for his funeral. Even though I agree with the words and would like to be able to be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday, it is still so hard not to cry and be sad at knowing that our wonderful life together is over.
    Like you, I talk about my grief to taxi drivers and most of them have been very helpful and some of them have astonished me with their empathy and understanding.

  5. This poem was very comforting. I lost my husband in September 2013 and all of the postings on this site have comforted me and let me know that it is okay and quite normal to have the feelings that I have been experiencing since my lost.

  6. Lovely words. I am going to send this to my friend whose gorgeous husband died tragically 10 years ago leaving her with 4 children under 10. The words are so her and how she has been.

  7. I have been following your blog since my beloved husband died 10 months ago and I have found it so comforting. Your words have helped me so much. What a wonderful poem.
    Thank you
    Kim, Celes (5), Max (3)

  8. It is so comforting to read what people in similar situations share. Like others I put a version on this poem in the order of service for my beloved late husband who died 24th Feb this year, leaving me and our beautiful 23 month old daughter. I find the poem hopeful. And I look forward to when I can truly feel that way.

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