Discussions, Death and, er, Disney

This week a radio show asked me to voice my opinion on the subject of young children and how we should deal with them dealing with death. I am not sure how relevant I really was to an argument that had arisen from writer Carol Sarler’s feature in the Daily Mail, where she puts forward that there is a certain element of grief pornography going on on the streets of Edinburgh that has seen the parents of young children in the Drylaw community allowing their kids to take along memorial teddies, flowers and notes for tragic Mikaeel Kular, the little Edinburgh boy who was found dead last week, and place them at a makeshift but growing shrine to the three-year-old. I actually agree with her on that fact. I wouldn’t take my child along to such a gathering but then they didn’t know him and it would more than likely frighten them to know even a fraction of what seems to be the story behind his awful death. However, there are those children that did know him and those that went to nursery with him and they need to find something to help explain the inexplicible or somewhere to hang the feelings that they are now feeling about a boy they knew but ‘bam’ is no longer here. So this is where I disagree with Carol. The discussion on the radio didn’t get particuarly heated on the parts that I heard. We all agreed it would be wrong to take a child along that didn’t know Mikaeel, especially a very young one, because why bring death and the emotions it brings with it into their lives unless they did.
But death did rear its ugly head in my girls little world a long time before anyone would want their kids exposed to it . I would love to wrap my children in the warmth and ignorance and love and cocoa that she suggests but I can’t. So I suppose I did get a bit riled when Bereavement expert Ann (I think) suggested waiting Continue reading “Discussions, Death and, er, Disney”

Corporate Grief

nocoldcallsCol used to rib me for being rubbish at talking to people on the phone. Not friends or family, not usually, but corporates, cold callers from call centres, insurance brokers, taxi firms and most of all takeaways (random but true – I would rather spend 30 minutes faffing on the internet to order my thai green chicken than speak to the horse’s mouth around the corner). So in the weeks after his death it was especially hard and quite awful to have to deal with the few bits of corporate fallout that I had to deal with ( I was very lucky that Col’s good friends and colleagues took the brunt).
Cold callers asking to speak to Mr. Campbell either got an expletive followed by a blunt ‘he’s dead so stop expletive, expletive, expletive calling me’. When I did feel up to sorting out the unpaid accounts that needed sorting, well by the time I was through the automated telephone system to an actual person…hmmm, suffice to say poor souls.
Continue reading “Corporate Grief”

Happy New Year…

I wept like a baby on and off for the whole first day of 2014. Howling once more. It was all down to a misunderstanding and my paper-thin widow-skin. An assumption on a good friend’s part that because much of the time I sound happy and things are good with the new life I am building that perhaps means I don’t crumble anymore, that I’ve moved on so much that I don’t perhaps miss so much what I once had with Col, the life we shared and the friends we enjoyed. So when some of the closest friends Col and I had together gathered on New Year’s Eve it was assumed that I would be busy, happy with Cameron. So no invite came and I was blissfully unaware. And I was happy with Cameron. Of course I was. It was lovely to bring in the new year with someone who has turned my life around so Continue reading “Happy New Year…”