Mad, Bad Decisions

Colin always vowed I had a book in me. I think he meant a great novel, or even a mediocre one. I don’t think he would have envisaged that the book I would most likely write would be called, “Things Not To Do When Your Husband Dies”. I am becoming an expert in those. At least once a month since he passed I have made a significant error in judgement. And they just keep on coming.
I miss having him to talk through decisions with. I know he made me make better ones. I know if he were here he would be quite astounded by some of the things I have chosen to do. Hopefully most of it in a positive way. But right now I wonder.
I see now the reason the Victorians hid widows away for at least the first year of their loss, keeping them ensconced in family only. We are not always fully functioning human beings. Just mere ameobas of our former selves. Two years in they were let loose into a closed network of family and close friends. I can see the point.
Modern society widows have no black veils to mark their grief and ward off menace. I think I need that sometimes. Perhaps I shall try it and then my book will be a mere pamphlet and not a Magnum Opus.

One Reply to “Mad, Bad Decisions”

  1. HI there Nicola, Miss you, Evie and Isla lots. I look at your photos, smile and cry and a bit as I think about you all. Wish I could help with those evenings BUT not to be at the moment. Dad sadi you had some friends coming this w/e. Still waiting on INTERnet to be re sorted in my house and then I will try SKYPE. things coming together slowly but surely here. Actually I am being quite lazy and laid back but things will gradually become busyier I know BUT going to keep it much lower key that it has previously been.
    Love to all of you and always appreciate what you write. Long as you don’t batter yourself too hard when those decisions don’t seem to have been the best in hind site….just let it go if you can. 🙂
    Tons of lvoe always,

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