My Mini Mariah Carey

It is official. I am working for a miniature Mariah Carey. Evie’s Rider for going to bed is comparable to that of any big voiced diva or demanding rock star and I am doing a great impression of being her eager-to-please ‘Yes’ man.
You want Big Bunny? OK. He may be down three flights of stairs but he will be here in the blink of an eye. Now Monkey too? Where is he? I’ll get him as quickly as madam pleases. A sippy cup in bed? OK then. Water too cold? I’ll warm it to whatever temperature one would like. You wish me to remove the imaginary lion from your bed? With pleasure. Oh there’s a tiger too? He’s out, out, out. Pyjamas too tight? Have a new pair. Duvet too high? I shall fold it down to just below bunny’s feet just the way you like it.
None of this is an exaggeration either. Reading it back I realise what a doormat I am. But needs must when you are desperate to have an evening to yourself. I do insist on pleases and thank you’s as I go.
Colin used to ponder which of the two of us would be the disciplinarian and I think it would actually have been me. Before they were born Colin envisaged himself as Victorian Dad, ‘Children Should Be Seen But Not Heard’. But when it came to Evie being as naughty as they can be at one and over, well he often laughed at her ingeniuousness.
Now though I spend so much of my life tired out, emotional and bereft so I have my moments of terrible parenting. Chocolate for breakfast isn’t a high point. But then there are other times where I am way too harsh because I think I have to be as strong as we often believe fathers to be. This usually occurs in public as I am worried that people will think my girls are badly behaved because they have no dad. Most of all
I miss the opportunity for Good Cop, Bad Cop although I am kind of doing it in a schizophrenic way. It’s all hard and I often try to imagine how Col would be dealing with my bedtime diva. I know in my heart that he would be just as accommodating to a very cute two-year-old who ends her whole ridiculous pre-bed Rider with wonderful cuddles and a few ‘I Lub you’s’.

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