Pity Party Music

Since February I have been compiling several playlists for different needs.  The first is Music To Weep To. Songs that capture that empty feeling I have inside or tunes that remind me of moments with Colin. It is important to weep you see. It is a bit like labour where I was told you must think of each contraction as being one step closer to the baby. Weeping intensely brings you one step closer to feeling better. Not fixed, I am beginning to understand. But better. And sometimes you just weep because your two-year-old has asked you why her Daddy will never pick her up from nursery. Other times you need to orchestrate the weepage. For those that know me well. Well they will know how good at weeping I am. Colin thought of me as a professional weeper. One who was easily manipulated by TV and films’ soundtracks. I remember him, vividly, turning to me while watching rubbish like the X-Factor to check that I was weeping suitably well at some sob story or other. If I wasn’t he would shake his head and say very seriously: ‘You’ve changed. You have a heart of stone.’ He didn’t get to say it much because usually I was a sobbing blob on the sofa and he would turn back satisfied that I was back on top weeping form. If only he could see me now….which incidentally brings me to my first track.

Music To Weep To (TBC)

Phil Collins Against All Odds
– Mock him all you like but this song is perfect for catching you just where you need it with lyrics like ‘You’re the only one who really knew me at all’ and ‘there’s just an empty space’. And the drums. Genius. Oh and as Colin was king of bad taste, or indeed no taste, when it came to music, he of course loved this song too. I remember on a journey to Leeds in the car the two of us screeching it to each other despite not really knowing the words.

Kate Bush This Woman’s Work
– already mentioned in a previous post I know but this is a goody. The lyrics make me shiver with grief and sometimes I really need that. It also good for making friends and family weep with you. I know because I have tried it and it works nearly every time.

Snow Patrol Chasing Cars
– This one is here just because Johnny Vaughan used to play it a lot on the breakfast show on Capital and pre-kids Colin and I would take the words as our direction to Just Lay Here. And we would hug or hold hands before the day began.

Roberta Flack First Time Ever I Saw Your Face
– This was our first dance at our wedding. Which is obviously a strong memory but what no one else saw was the night we decided it would be our first dance. We had got a bit tipsy on the wedding wine we had been sent to taste. It was a hot evening so we danced outside in the side return of our house checking out our moves in the reflection of the French windows. Haha.

4 thoughts on “Pity Party Music

  1. This reply seems to have grown and through the night and I feel the need to come back to the start to offer an intro. I started listening to your playlist through youtube and I found myself following on to other songs that help me be emotional. I have always been a fan of the sad song and I offer the suggestions you led me to within, some with hope, some with despair, all with love x

    Now I never married into the Wood/Campbell/Slaughter family under any illusions of coolness so the inclusion of Phil Collins in your playlist is of no surprise to me. What has left me in a state of shock is that after consulting youtube big bad Phil has left me in tears as I sit at my laptop(earphones in so as not to wake Jo, I have turned Phil up to full volume for second listen). I can totally picture you and Colin driving up the Motorway screaming this to each other with head moving drama that even Phil would be proud of.

    I’m glad you reference Colin’s taste in music here. It reminds me of our visit to Sandy Hills. You both and baby Evie on your first holiday with me Josie and Emily. I remember Colin’s request for some M.O.R music CD’s to borrow for ya’ll to listen to in your hired car. I thought to myself “M.O.R.? What is this music? It must be some cool London vibe??” Then you informed me it stood for Middle Of the Road, Ahh yes that makes more sense. I think we found some Jack Johnson and Coldplay’s first album?(third listen of big Phil complete)

    Kate Bush-This Woman’s Work: Thank you for sharing this with me in person, I was overwhelmed but appreciated it wholeheartedly.(first listen done) Never mind the lyrics making me shiver, intro music and the uh oh ooo has me going! MAKE IT GO AWAY! give me these moments back. Now I’m over the intro and able to hear the lyrics I can’t add anything to them. Heartbreakingly beautiful.(second listen, done) Just listened again and I’m totally gone-re hydration needed before bed! please feel free to play this song at any time x. I do find youtube’s suggestion of listening to Wuthering Heights somewhat inappropriate.

    Anyway.

    Snow Patrol-Chasing cars. I’ve never been what one may call a fan of Snow Patrol.(first listen done) However the thought of you and Colin being brave enough to lie with each other and share in the songs sentiment has got me hooked.(second listen… aggghhh, I’ve just clicked on the follow icon at the bottom of the screen as I listen and lost my reply! oh wait it’s o.k. just clicked the back button and retrieved it-now backed up post into word document… done) Proper M.O.R. music at it’s best!! This song will now and forever remind me of Colin’s face of total contentment that he always wore when he was with his family.

    Roberta Flak-the first time ever I saw your face. Baring the grammatical errors in the title this song is beautiful. My memory of you and Colin’s first dance was of seeing you face away from me, (you were looking toward the corner of the room that your Dad took the stage) and I could see Colin look at you with joy and love. (first listen done) As I listen again the thought of you both in your side return makes me smile more. xx

    The journey you have led me through youtube has brought me to a song that I have always found very emotive. It comes to mind because the last time I properly cried to it was when Me and Jo dragged you and Colin along to see Spiritualized. I remember that as they played “Ladies and Gentlemen We Are Floating In Space” I found myself crying and turning to Colin who was siting on my left. We looked at each other as I cried and he never batted an eyelid, I know now he was used to loved ones sitting close to him in comfy seats crying. x

    Israel IZ- Somewhere Over The Rainbow. Very simple happy song with sad undertones.

    Radiohead-Street Spirit(Fade Out) This song has forever been a supplier of great comfort and hope, cloaked in a guise of despair.

    Radiohead- Fake Plastic Trees. O.K. I may be accused of being as bit lazy here, youtube did suggest it after last song however it is Radiohead.

    Oh, youtube just suggested against all odds! Is that because of my previous listening history or some other connection, oh fuckit! who cares-one more time(Phil has hair in this one, very bad hair but hair all the same).

    I will bring the evening/morning to a close with Jeff Buckley’s version of Hallelujah.

    Much love,

    Eddie x

  2. On the subject of weepy songs Nic, whenever I listen to Extreme’s More Than Words, I think of your dad having bought the album (I don’t know why, but I remember that it was on audio cassette), expecting a dozen or so similar tracks.
    If you remember the album, you’ll understand why he wasn’t very happy with the purchase.

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