As Colin died suddenly of SADS, my friend Eilidh Macaskill, who edits Instyle UK, has very sweetly dedicated the September issue’s British Heart Foundation Tunnel of Love feature to Colin. What a star. It’s another thing for the girls’ memory box that I can talk to them about in the years to come.
When I lost Col, our eldest daughter Evie was just 22 months old. Our baby Isla only nine weeks. How to explain to them what has happened? I can’t get my head around it myself so what hope have I. I thought there must be a book out there. There just must be. A friend who lost her dad in her teens pointed me in the direction of The Heart and The Bottle by Oliver Jeffers and it is wonderful but a little old for a toddler. One night, lying in bed not sleeping (again), I came up with a simple little poem that I now read out to Evie and will do the same with Isla when she is a wee bit older.
A Poem From Your Girls:
Once Upon A While Ago…
Someone told my daddy he had to go.
I don’t know where, I don’t know why,
We didn’t even say goodbye.
But once upon a while ago…someone told daddy he had to go.
Now is now and here I am…
Wishing I could hold his hand.
But in my heart he is not far,
He is in the air, he is a star.
But now is now and here I am…still wishing I could hold his hand.
Forever more, and even longer…
My love for Daddy gets ever stronger.
I know that he is near to me,
Wherever I am there he’ll be.
And so it is forever more, and even longer…my love for you my daddy gets ever stronger.